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How To Buy A Toy For Your Partner

How To Buy A Toy For Your Partner

Posted by Jennier on Nov 29, 2022

The day has come! You and your partner have reached the appropriate level of intimacy to begin investing money in your sex lives. Or maybe you’ve been married for years and have decided it’s time to spice things up. Well, we here at Spicy Gear are always ready to spice things up, as I’m sure you’re aware. Here’s a quick guide to buying that perfect present for your partner. If you feel like you and your partner aren't quite ready for that but you're still interested in bringing sex toys into the bedroom, check out Introducing Sex Toys into Your Relationship.


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Now, there’s always a fear when buying toys that it’ll make your partner uncomfortable. Whether you feel like you’re going to make them uncomfortable by obligating something on them they aren’t ready for, or by getting them a toy that they’re simply not interested in or doesn’t work for them– such as buying a rabbit vibrator when they really want something that hits their G-spot (psst… try theTrixie).

You could try talking to them. If you’re open about these things together, that’s a great option.

You might even try shopping together. When I expressed interest in buying a glass dildo, my partner asked me to do some shopping around and pick out a couple that I liked. I knew that I’m pretty picky about my dildos and that, since it was glass, the shape would mean a lot to me. In the end, while he still made the purchase, he did so knowing what exactly would be best for me. And even though it wasn’t a surprise, I was still in love with the one he picked out.

But what do you do if you partner gets embarrassed about these things?

Become a Sexionnaire

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One site we suggest trying out is Sexionnaire. It’s a survey which you and your partner will take separately detailing those kinks and toys you’ve been wanting to try in the bedroom but been too afraid to ask about. And don’t worry about letting your freak flag fly– your partner will only see what you picked if they picked it too, and vice versa. So if I want to have a threesome, but my partner really isn’t feeling that, the fact that I said I was into that wouldn’t even show up on our results.

This could give you a great idea for toys, i.e. if you partner says they’re interested in receiving anal, you might know to buy them a trainer butt plug, like the Colours Anal Trainer Kit (read all about butt stuff here!). Or if they’re wanting to try some light bondage, a Fetish Fantasy Pleasure Bondage Set might be right up their alley.

Just be warned, unlike the now-defunct Mojo Upgrade, this site is pretty heteronormative. It’s not exactly friendly for queer couples (including using gendered language), and as of right now, I can’t find a better substitute that’s more inclusive. Found one or made one? Send it our way and we’ll write a post about it!

Help! I bought the wrong thing!


You bought her a shiny new Lelo Enigma Cruise Vibrator and she just… hates it. It happens, and we know that! That’s why we have a return policy. We will work with you to find something that suits your partner better.

Of course, we do not restock these items since it is a health risk. But understand that adult sex toys are not a "one size fits all" kind of thing.  That's part of the reason we stock over 10,000 different products.


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