Updated October 2026
The day has come! You and your partner have reached the appropriate level of intimacy to begin investing money in your sex lives. Or maybe you’ve been married for years and have decided it’s time to spice things up. Well, we here at Spicy Gear are always ready to spice things up, as I’m sure you’re aware. Here’s a quick guide to buying that perfect present for your partner. If you feel like you and your partner aren’t quite ready for that but you’re still interested in bringing sex toys into the bedroom, check out Introducing Sex Toys into Your Relationship.
Let’s Chat
Now, there’s always a fear when buying toys that it’ll make your partner uncomfortable. Whether you feel like you’re going to make them uncomfortable by obligating something on them they aren’t ready for, or by getting them a toy that they’re simply not interested in or doesn’t work for them– such as buying a rabbit vibrator when they really want something that hits their G-spot (psst… try the Vedo Kinky Bunny).
You could try talking to them. If you’re open about these things together, that’s a great option.
You might even try shopping together. When I expressed interest in buying a glass dildo, my partner asked me to do some shopping around and pick out a couple that I liked. I knew that I’m pretty picky about my dildos and that, since it was glass, the shape would mean a lot to me. In the end, while he still made the purchase, he did so knowing what exactly would be best for me. And even though it wasn’t a surprise, I was still in love with the one he picked out.
But what do you do if you partner gets embarrassed about these things?
Match the Toy to What They Want
The best gift is one that connects to something your partner has actually shown interest in – so talk openly. Swap the things you’ve each been a little curious about but maybe felt shy bringing up, and you’ll usually land on a clear idea. Make it low-pressure: this is exploring together, not an obligation.
If your partner has mentioned being curious about anal, a gentle trainer kit like the Booty Call Trainer Kit is a friendly starting point (here’s our anal plug buying guide). If they’ve hinted at light bondage, a beginner set like the Our First Bondage Kit is an easy, low-pressure way in.
Help! I bought the wrong thing!
You bought her a shiny new vibrator and she just… hates it. It happens, and we know that! That’s why we have a return policy. We will work with you to find something that suits your partner better.
Of course, we do not restock these items since it is a health risk. But understand that adult sex toys are not a “one size fits all” kind of thing. That’s part of the reason we stock over 10,000 different products.
Buying for Your Partner: FAQ
How do I bring it up without making it awkward?
Keep it light and curious rather than pressured. Frame it as something fun to explore together, and make clear there’s zero obligation – you’re just opening the door.
What if I don’t know what they’d like?
Talk about it, or shop together. Match the toy to something they’ve actually shown interest in rather than guessing – it’s far more likely to get used.
What’s a safe first toy to gift?
Something beginner-friendly and versatile – a quality external vibrator, a simple couples’ toy, or a beginner kit in whatever area they’re curious about.
What if they don’t like it?
No big deal. Check our return policy, and treat it as useful information about what to try next time.
Should it be a surprise?
A surprise is sweet, but for something this personal many couples prefer picking together – you’re more likely to land on something they’ll genuinely enjoy.