Clitoris 101: What it is, where it is, and what to do with it
It’s a tale as old as time: “I/he/she/they can’t find my clitoris!”
Most of us have had a sex ed class but whether or not it was helpful is another issue entirely. You probably had a brief overview of female anatomy and I can almost guarantee that the clitoris was basically glossed over and that the focus was on the science of reproducing. But it does make sense that your school nurse didn’t go in depth to a class of fifth graders about what the clitoris does. This led to a TON of people not knowing more about the most erogenous zone of the female body.
Let me be clear: the clitoris is the main character, not the quirky side kick or unnamed extra of the show. If you’re confused about your own clitoris or your partner’s, then you’re in the right place.
What is it: An Erogenous Zone
The human body is chock full of erogenous zones. These are parts of the human body that elicit a sexual response when touched or stimulated. Other erogenous zones are, but limited to, lips, nipples, and butts. The funny thing about humans is that erogenous zones vary from person to person. But the ones mentioned above pretty much count for everybody. What gets you aroused might be different for another person. Foreplay is important in that you or your partner are stimulating your erogenous zones.The clitoris is different in that stimulation of this erogenous zone can almost certainly lead to orgasm if done the right way. But don’t forget foreplay; it’s always the best opening act.
It looks like a little pink button (technically called the clitoral glans) at the opening on the bottom of the clitoral hood. When you’re not aroused, it can be visible, barely visible, or not visible at all. Looks can be deceiving, though, as the entire clitoris extends up towards the pubic bone and has two “arms,” called crura, that do down towards the pelvic bone. Picture a wishbone. While the entire clitoris is a mass of nerve endings, the glans itself contains the most. The clitoris is a spongy, erectile tissue meaning that it swells (much like the penis, though not quite as much) during arousal. Arousal increases blood flow, increasing sensitivity.
Where is it: Anatomy is Hard
If you haven’t already, take a look at our guide (here) for a bigger picture of the vulva (the clitoris is part of it) and its surrounding areas.
Contrary to popular belief, the little pink bud at the opening of the clitoral hood is just the tip of the iceberg. Although all you can see is a small pink bud, beneath it is a mass of erectile tissue and the base of the clitoris is often the best place to aim for rather than heading straight to the top which is directly under the clitoral hood. It’s north of the urethra where the inner labia (labia minora) meet. There’s more clitoral tissue behind the labia that can be fun to incorporate into foreplay.
What do I do with it: Practice Makes Perfect
If you’re new-new to the world of clitoral stimulation, please understand that it’s unlikely you’ll be a pro the first time. While a majority of this guide has been scientific in nature, actually getting down to it is an art. Take physical cues from your partner and listen. If you’re on the receiving end, let your partner know what’s working and what’s not. Guide them and be patient.
Gently kneading the outer labia lips with two fingers is a good way to start and then move on to rotating your fingers around the top of the clitoris (this works equally well with your tongue or a vibrator). Take your time; many women don't actually like full on, direct clitoral stimulation. If she does want more direct stimulation she'll open her legs, push against your hand or raise her pelvis.
You can also gently 'pull' the clitoris between two fingers – you're not actually pulling it as it's generally rather difficult to get hold of, but it feels sensational. As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris can disappear from view, hidden by the swollen vaginal lips but it's still there, don't ignore it.
Tease Her, Turn Up the Heat - Build up to the final act. A good introduction is always key to getting a woman turned on. Instead of just playing with her breasts, which can be boring, and not as pleasurable to some women, place your hand where her clit is and apply a light to heavier massage. Even if she is still wearing clothing, the pressure of your hands massaging her clit can be an extreme turn on, and make her wet.
Get Down to Business - Once the clothes come off, work your way down to her clitoris. Lubricate your finger by delving into her vagina then rubbing across her clit, or by applying some lubricant. Then, gently stroke her clit with your fingers. She may prefer a lighter touch or more pressure. Pay attention to how she is responding, and also by asking her if it feels good. You can also insert two fingers into her vagina, while using your thumb to caress her clitoris. She may achieve an orgasm by doing this.
Apply Some Tongue Action - Giving her oral sex can also make some women achieve an orgasm. Tease her by kissing and licking her outer labia. Then, work your way to her clitoris. Play with different movements of your tongue from a swirling to up and down movement. Some women love it when you suck on the clit. You can also insert your fingers into her vagina while giving her oral sex.
While you are having sexual intercourse, you can also incorporate a vibrator by massaging her clit with it, which can be extremely pleasurable for her. In addition, there are also vibrating cock rings that are worn at the base of the penis, which contain a bullet or small stimulator, which when you are fully inside her, will stimulate her clit.
If you're looking for even more Clitoral Stimulation. You can browse our full assortment of Clitoral Vibrators and check out our great guide Intro to Vibrators.
